I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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