Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
where am i from again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
