Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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