Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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