Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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