are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
