Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
