I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
