I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
