I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So here I am, sexting at work.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
