i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
But break dance skills will only take you so far
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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