My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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