last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
