No awkward lesbian experiences without me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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