I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
