I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
