rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
