I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
