And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
