he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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