jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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