why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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