dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
