too bad you live with your parents still
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You ruined the universe
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
