The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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