My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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