there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
did i just pee glitter
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