I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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