I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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