I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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