i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
