she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
