it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
