I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
