We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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