You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
In America we eat man semen.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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