I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
