yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
