they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
