You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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