So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just found puke in my bra..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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