So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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