i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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