you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
