There is no way he is gay with that hair.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
