apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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