every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
