Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
