They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
