Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize