im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
