A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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