The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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