Ambien. No doubt about it.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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