Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
