My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
